Self-Creation: Who Will I Be?

The title of this post is an amazing question, because I get to answer it and decide 100% for myself, and that is so empowering! This is not the first time, however, that I have put myself into action to change. One of the biggest realizations I have had is that grandiose sweeping changes rarely last and are not so easy to sustain. Maybe sometimes, but for the following application, I will take it slow, step-by-step.

Below is a chart which is based on the application described in my previous blog. It is the basic ground-work for who and how I would like to be and become. It is, in my view, a ‘healthy’ (as in: normal, constructive, beneficial to myself and my living, self-expansive)  foundation to set for myself as that which I would like to birth as me:

Work on Developing

Exercise

Writing

Maintaining a clean environment

Find a Hobby

Reading

Preparing my Day the night before

Vlogging

Down time

 

Self-Expression

How To

Excercise: Starting with three times a week. Twice doing strength/muscular in my room with youtube videos, and then one jog/long walk on the weekends. Taking a different bus after work so I get a 20 minute walk home .Take stairs in metro.

Writing: Every night post in daily self-forgiveness. Three times a week, one of the following: blog about realizations or sf. Personal sf that is deeper/not public..

Maintaining a clean environment: Create a place for everything. Put things back in their place once done. Do laundry weekly, vacuum weekly. Weekend organizing. Get rid of stuff I don’t use/need. Take responsibility to do after dinner clean up for my mom. Keep my stuff in my room, not in the public spaces.

Find a hobby: when I have spare time I would like to do something creative/artistic. My mom has an art studio at home I can use. I would like to do bead work or stained glass or collage. I would spend quality time with my mom and relate to her through art. I would enjoy it. I would need to buy some supplies but she has all the tools. Arrange to go with her to art store next time she goes.

Reading: On the bus to and from work is when I have time to myself to read a book for pleasure. Prevents me from going into the mind and becoming stressed about the day ahead, or by other passengers.

Preparing my day: Before I go to bed, go into the kitchen and prepare my lunch, the coffee machine. Get clothes ready for the next day. Shower at night, not in the morning.

Vlogging: One French vlog a month. Do regular hangouts discussing topics of self-introspection and self-expansion. One process vlog a month.

Downtime: At least once a week bubble baths, once a week movie.

Self-expression:

Through writing, vlogging and blogging.

With my parents over dinner.

Nightly chats with my partner.

At work.

Do not speak in reaction, practice self-honest expression, breathe through desire for attention. Speak what comes up within me as points or realizations.

Practice how to: Listen. Breathe. Be Natural. Calm. Comfortable.

Write out points to work through fears in relation to communicating. Practice listening, breathing through reactions while talking on the phone or in person. Note points that come up after chatting. Push self-honesty. Listen.

 

5 Golden Rules of Picking

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My Skin-Picking Rules and Regulations

I understand that these rules are set by me, for me, for where I am at right now. I realize I cannot continue the way I am going, and must take steps and make steps so that I can, step-by-step, create a new way of life and living.

These are the things I commit to for me, my healing and well-being:

I commit myself to follow these rules and regulations until they are integrated and ingrained habits within my life and living.

I commit myself to monitor my progress, and when and as I see that I have successfully ingrained these habits, I will change and update them to further progress in managing skin-picking.

RULES and REGULATIONS

  1. Before all picking sessions I must wash my hands and sterilize my tools as well as the skin I am about to pick. After the session I must clean the touched area.
    1. If there is moisture and it is wet, I wash the area, I apply a clay mask, rinse and leave it.
    2. If it is dry, I leave it, but if it is red and dry I may apply antibacterial cream or All-Heal cream.

 

  1. I may only pick twice a day, once in the morning, and once at night.
    1. If I miss one of these timeframes, I may not make it up later, it is considered missed and the moment has passed and I must wait for the next timeframe.
    2. In the morning means after I wake up, and before I get ready for my day.
    3. At night means after I have prepared myself for bed (brushed teeth, used toilet, put pj’s on, prepared my room and bed for sleeping).
    4. I may not push back the times due to picking. Once I make the decision that it is time to prepare for the day or time to go to bed, then I must move myself to do so despite where I am at with picking, I must let it go.

 

  1. During allotted picking times, I first start by taking a breath, slowing down, and observing what I am about to do. I maintain this awareness throughout the session by every now and then pulling away, taking a breath and grounding myself.
    1. If I see myself losing awareness and going into the possessed mode where I do real damage, I stop, and I breathe, I stop working on the damaged area nd move to only pluck hairs from my legs without touching the skin.

 

  1. I may only pop or squeeze when there is a visible white head, and only pluck a hair when it is long enough for the tweezers to grab without damaging the skin.

 

  1. After a session I must bring myself back to self-love, self-care and self-acceptance by taking actual actions to prepare myself for the day or for sleep.