Real Time Moment of Support: Get Outdoors, Participate in Reality

 

I made this video when I observed myself going into a ‘downward spiral’. These are some of the physical applications I used to support myself to stop myself from falling hard. Interestingly, I have found a strong correlation between my picking cycles and my menstrual cycles. It’s almost like the intensity of emotions I experience on a daily basis are intensified as I get closer and closer to my period, and then dissipates after it’s done.

 

While it’s happening, it feels endless. I fight with all my might for days on end, feeling like I am getting nowhere. This particular crash lasted for about 1.5 – 2 weeks, where it felt like I couldn’t move, was ‘stuck in the mud’ and even basic daily tasks like showering, keeping myself presentable and brushing my teeth every night felt like herculean tasks. Not to mention all of my daily responsibilities that I need to completely self-motivate myself to do.

 

Needless to say, I began dropping and falling behind on projects, creating this overwhelming experience as if life was charging forward and I was just hanging desperately on it’s coattails, trying not to be left behind under a mountain of responsibilities that had been left un-attended. I realized that life will not in fact wait for me. I realize that I felt like I was fighting for my life, but that I could in fact fight harder, doing a little bit each day KNOWING that I will get out of this, knowing that if I do a little everyday, it will lessen the emotional experiences I create within myself in relation to ‘keeping up with life’ while I’m crashing.

 

These are the lessons I am taking forward with me now: keep fighting and pushing even when it feels impossible and endless. Push myself every day do at least do one little thing to keep the forward momentum. Do not beat myself up, EVER. Do not give up, EVER.

 

Now that I am coming out of it, with the emotions feeling a little less intense, I have to deal with the aftermath.  Normally, I would now go into overdrive in a try and an attempt to ‘catch up’ with my life, not seeing realizing and understanding that I create the movement of my life, and sometimes it is waaaay slowed down while I manage my disorder. Now, instead of going into overdrive which inevitably leads me to another crash, I am stepping in, in awareness, to create a pace of life that is sustainable.

So today, starting over once again. Dealing with my consequences, picking up things where I left off. Getting into a rhythm to is supportive for me, taking care of myself first. Disorder management is always a part of my life at the moment, so I am not going to fight it, I am going to work WITH it to create the best, most supportive and constructive life and pace for myself to be able to function within.

Rough Morning? Me Too – Here’s What I Did

 

This moment took place in the morning, when I hit a huge resistance in the form of a pressure, fidgetiness, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. This is when the urges came flooding in. The resistance is a familiar one for me that comes when I do self-writing on tough points, and beginning a project that I found overwhelming.

I was supposed to have these things done in a couple of hours, but instead I lingered in the ‘urge’ experience for over 4 hours, partially completing only one document. In this video I explore what thoughts and reactions cause the resistance to build up so that I can understand WHY and HOW I created it for myself.

I lay out my blueprint of how I will tackle the issue in my day. I manage to find some relief and feel more ready to face the day after creating this real-time moment of support. The video also includes a next-day update, looking at how the moments of support we create for ourselves play out over time, and not necessarily right then and there, in the moment.

Breaking the Cycle in Real-Time

 

In this video, I catch a moment that would normally lead into a skin-picking session. Here we are looking at self-observation, in terms of feeling the urge coming, identifying it, finding the trigger, realizing the consequences if one were to follow the trigger into the urge.

This moment of prevention is so important, because it is a moment right before we are in the grips of the disorder, and thus a moment where we still have the power, and it is easier to stop.

This doesn’t mean we can’t stop mid-pick, or lessen the damage, but this approach is THE best method to preventing it from happening in the first place.

Notice how I choose an activity that will physically exert me? This is because I cannot deny the fact that there is a build-up inside of me. This build-up has to come out one way or another. If I don’t get it out in a constructive way, then it will sit inside me and fester, only to rear it’s ugly head later on in the day in an unsuspecting moment. At that point, it will probably be even stronger and more difficult to direct.

This application has saved me from so many unnecessary piking sessions, where I have done something else, something constructive, and actually created new areas of life and living.

Enjoy the video!

Room Cleaning: Real Time Moment of Self-Support

sponge-2541251_960_720

          Sometimes you can just feel it coming. You have been triggered, you start feeling the draw to inspect your skin, and you just know what is coming. Did you know that if you have awareness in this moment, you still have the power to stop and re-direct yourself? In fact, it is at least a million times easier to stop yourself in THIS moment than if you wait even a few minutes longer.

            In this video, I was in just such a moment. I decided to make a video to bring myself out of my head, and shared what I would do in this moment to support myself. I also explain how I got to this point and exactly how I walked through it.

Click here to open the video in a new tab: Room Cleaning – Real Time Support