Facing the World After A Skin-Picking Session

 

This video covers how to face the ‘cold’, ‘harsh’ world after we have fallen into a skin-picking session. This video offers tools to pave the way for how to be a different you when you leave the house. How to quiet your mind and focus on what is important: YOU.

 

Important points from the video:

  • How does it feel to enter into public after a skin-picking session and how it changes our behaviour.
  • How: Who we decide to be in these moments can either contribute to another picking session, and what slights alterations can contribute instead to self-strengthening.
  • What is the reality going on on a deeper level when we feel like the world is a nasty place?
  • What to visualize and how to hold your body in such a way that is supportive in the application of empowering self when out in the world.
  • Where to place your focus when facing the world. This slight shift in focus creates huge change internally and in how we comport ourselves in public.
  • How to focus and direct your practical responsibilities out in the world in such a way that makes the experience manageable and create forward motion in your life.
  • What surprising obstacles will persistently surface, and how to deal with them.
  • How to quiet your mind and focus on what is important: YOU.
  • A reminder about Who We Really Are, what we have done and how we got here.

Enjoy!

 

The False Victories

Within OCD, there are many vicious cycles. The vicious cycle is one that self-perpetuates, where one action feeds the next, and the next, and then it loops around back to the first, like a snake eating its tail. Within OCD, some cycles are quick ups and downs, highs and lows, or lows and lowers. I’ve also noticed is a longer cycle which over-arches the others. It is a slow decent towards a fall, a giving up or giving in, or towards varying degrees of rock bottom. Rock bottom is a place of consequence. It is the outflow or result of actions which one had accepted and allowed oneself to participate within and as, which one usually already knew would be consequential, yet did not practice prevention.

 

Dealing with consequences and picking oneself up from a point of consequence is not easy, and I find it necessary to be clear on one’s starting point when directing oneself out of consequence and back into a standing, self-directed living. The starting point that I have stood from in the past has been one of guilt, polarity and regret for what I had done, and that which I accepted and allowed within myself. This does not create a stable foundation from which to build, but rather creates self-judgment, and thus things like self-hate and other forms of self-compromise, which are only ever self-sabotage, and will therefore always be followed by another fall. The only starting point that will stand the test of time is one based in the principle of equality and oneness as what’s best for all. So I have to ask myself: Am I contributing to this life to my fullest potential when I have OCD? No, because I spend an incredible amount of time dealing with the disorder in one way or another, which is an incredible amount of time focused only on myself. Am I equal and one? No, because the disorder has directive over me, thus I have separated myself in so many ways, including myself as the disorder, and myself as the sufferer of the disorder. I am not equal to myself as the disorder; I have accepted and allowed the disorder to become greater than my self-directive principle.

Herein, I continue getting to know myself as OCD/dermatillomania, because I cannot be equal to that which I do not understand. I am looking specifically at the above mentioned cycle: the rise from the rock-bottom experience of manifested consequence: I always rise from rock-bottom, if for no other reason than a lack of alternatives. It is necessary for me to clear my starting point within this inevitable and predictable cycle, so that I can continue working towards a permanent solution for myself, to be able to live and express as ME, and not an endlessly limited version of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give myself slack and loosen my grip on the reigns in my life when and as I am on the upside of the cycle of OCD.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the strength I feel that comes in cycles is not necessarily something I actually directed myself to, but rather simply the upside of a cycle within which I would have experienced the down side of the ‘low’ just before, with the rise being mostly only an inevitability for one that has not given up completely, thus making the disorder at times bearable enough to not have to really face changing/stopping for real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste any real and actual progress I may have made in pushing myself to stop and change, by taking slack at the most important moment, the actual moment/opportunity where real change is possible, by giving in and becoming aloof in that moment, showing that I still fear to really stop and change, and I still have not made the genuine decision to do so, and I am still enslaved or a prisoner to my accepted and allowed way of living, which is a way that is less than who I am or what I have the potential to be, and a way that actually includes self-destructive elements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to not have OCD as an outlet/escape/distraction/reaction/energy generator.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and manifest a positive energetic charge in relation to the upside of the repeating cycle I experience within/as OCD, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then fear to lose this positive experience, thus self-creating the conditions for myself to fear to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slacken up and let myself slide within the disorder when I am on the upside of the cycle because I ‘feel’ strong, and I ‘feel’ like I can let myself slip ‘just a little bit’, within the belief that I will bounce back easily, when inevitably and predictably, the slippery slope becomes an unmanageable force and I fall back to square one.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push through and persevere most when it counts most, which is when I feel I need it the least, when my guards are down, and when I am is a ‘positive’ energy that I fear to lose.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to pick myself up out of guit, regret and a lack of alternatives, rather than a self-directed standing up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand from an unstable starting point, despite the fact tha tI already know where it is going to lead: to another fall.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to  spite myself by continuing to pick myself up without forst clearing my starting point

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to fear to clear my sterting point because I know that it will leave no more room for excuses and I wont be able to justify my slips down the slippery slope towards an all-out fall.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to time-loop over and over again, allowing for discouragement, self-questioning and a diminished sense of self-trust.

Picking My Skin to Escape Reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick my skin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick my skin as a mechanism to avoid being here with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and manifest discomfort/uneasiness/crawling sensation/irritability when and as I am present within myself or when I stop myself from picking or scratching at my skin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use skin-picking/scratching as a way to avoid facing myself in the moment, in presences and awareness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive that I can’t face myself and the way I feel inside head on, because it feels too uncomfortable, unpleasant, overwhelming and frightening.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe and perceive that the world around me is too overwhelming, chaotic and out of control for me to exist within, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want, to need, and to desire to have absolute control over my environment within the belief that it would change how I experience myself if I did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created an ultimatum, wherein I try to control everything in my Life and world, and when that fails, I withdraw completely into the disorder as an absolute disconnecting and escape.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe and perceive that having absolute control over my environment is possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that all other human beings have it together and have complete control over their environments except me, and that there is some specific formula that I am missing that I could somehow find to ‘make it right’ and ‘be ok’ like everybody else seems to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsessively try to perfect everything and find every little flaw in a try and an attempt to find that ‘thing I am missing’ that would make it all right and all ‘okay’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsess over myself and my physical body within an attempt to find every little flaw within the idea, perception and belief that if I didn’t have a certain blemish or bump or imperfection, I would be perfect and then things would be/feel ok, and I would be ok.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think/believe/perceive that the way I feel within myself is a direct result of how I look or what is going on in my life and my world, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that it has nothing to do with my physical body or events and play-outs in my life. It has everything to do with the way I feel about these things, or the feeling and emotional energetic relationships I develop to and towards them.

Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that I am the one that actually determines and creates those relationships; therefore, I am the one that is responsible for them and empowered to change them.

What to Do After a Skin-Picking Session

 

This video covers the following points:

What does it feel like ‘after the fall’, when you have just had a really bad picking session, and why.

How a fear of ‘the fall’ can keep us locked into picking sessions for even longer, and how to break that cycle.

What to introduce into this moment instead of self-diminishment.

How to let go of the destructive, destroying thoughts, feeling, emotions, perceptions and beliefs in the rock bottom moment.

How we created this emotional storm that only adds to the pain of the rock bottom moment.

How it looks to live the words: self-care, self-love, self-forgiveness and unconditional self-embracing.

How to become your own safe haven in the space after the picking session.

The Fear of Being Ugly (part seven)

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Continuing from my previous self-forgiveness statements, scripting out here my self-corrections and self-commitments to stop the patterns I live that do not support myself, nor anything or anyone else, and to change these to patterns of self-support that can be lived out daily, in every breath:

These self-commitments and self-corrections are derived from the self-forgiveness statements from Day 169- Dermatillomania: The Fear of Being Ugly, which I would highly suggest reading for context and for its own merit.

When and as I see that I am going into self-judgment based on how others are treating me, (either positive or negative- both being the same, as in two sides of the same coin- the point being that I am being influenced by my environment/others in any way whatsoever), I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to SELF-expression, by reminding myself that I can laugh at myself, and not take my self-image so seriously that I would be influenced by another’s reaction to it. I am ‘stuck’ with me no matter how others view me, react to me, or respond to me. I am responsible to make the determining calls for Who and How I am, and no one else is able to do that for me. I Take Myself Back from the direction of others by Grounding Myself within/as the Reality Of Myself, which I accept, with Full Knowing of the process I am walking and all that which I still need to do, which is a lot, and if I am called out on or made aware of a point I have not yet dealt with, then it is merely a point that requires attention, presenting itself into my awareness. I direct myself to express myself as ME, as Who I Am at the moment, for the moment, and in this, I get to know myself, and develop self-intimacy.

I commit myself to clear my starting point before, during, within and as interactions with others.

I commit myself to either stand up, or to humble myself without compromise, when and as I see that I am getting a positive or negative charge out of an interaction.

When and as I see that I am defining or judging myself as ‘ugly’, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-acceptance by reminding myself that the picture is not what is important- but is the result of what kind of care I am giving myself. I direct myself to look at myself in self-acceptance, wherein, when and as I look, nothing moves within me.

When and as I see that I am defining and judging myself as ‘pretty’, ‘sexy’, or ‘beautiful’, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-honesty within the realization that basing my self-acceptance on my picture presentation is equal and one to basing my self-acceptance within energetic relationships which have no substance or stability- which will thus then enslave me to the constant ups and downs of energy instead of the constancy, consistency, and stability that I am able to develop by basing my starting point on Who I Am as substance, and what my outflows are as physical actions and words. This I am able to decide in awareness and develop with intention.

I commit myself to clearing my self-relationship with my picture presentation to one where Who I Am and how I look are one and equal to that which I create in self-awareness, which is value, worth, self-care, self-honouring, self-acceptance, self-will, self-direction, assertiveness, steadfastness, and self-commitment to be and become equal to and one with all that is Here.

I commit myself to stop the reactions and judgments that come up within me as thoughts/ideas/feeling/emotions/perceptions/beliefs and internal conversation when and as I look at or see myself and my picture presentation.