The Fear of Being Ugly (part three)


Continuing from my previous self-forgiveness statements, scripting out here my self-corrections and self-commitments to stop the patterns I live that do not support myself nor anything or anyone else, and change them to patterns of self-support that can be lived daily, in every breath:

When and as I see that I am connecting the perception of beauty/beautiful skin with success, relevance, value, acceptance, being liked, enjoying a mate, and joy, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-worth, self-value, actual relevance, actual success, and self-enjoyment, within the realization that anything derived from beauty is as hollow as the starting point it is founded upon, which is opinion and judgment, with no actual basis in Reality, nor consideration for the actual/potential beauty of/as Life, nor a consideration of the forces that Life is confronting in every moment.

I commit myself to walk towards self-worth, self-value, actual relevance, actual success, and self-enjoyment, by clearing my starting point to one that considers myself as Life, equal to everyone else, and one with this physical existence.

When and as I see that my internal environment is being influenced by my self-perception of ‘the way I look’, which I can identify based on how I am reflecting myself back to myself through how I think ‘others’ perceive me, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to self-acceptance by reminding myself that a breath taken in self-judgment is a breath of potential given away. A simple focus on the breath instead of up in my mind, thinking myself into diminishment, will bring myself back Here, where slef-acceptance is not necessary because self simply IS- Here, Solid, Matter- no judgment required to determine this fact. Thus, breath by breath I either bring myself back to actual matter, where I actually matter, or I give myself away. I decide.

I commit myself to bring myself back to matter, where judgment is not necessary as all matter counts and has equal value, despite what exists in the mind of anyone.

I commit myself to drop and let go of my attachment and relationship to appearance, within the understanding that I am not gaining or losing anything.

When and as I see that I feel I am gaining or losing part of myself based on how I can define myself against my programmed standards, or what I perceive to be society’s standards in terms of how I look, or how I am able to present myself, I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to simplicity, wherein all these standards do not really matter. I understand I have to be presentable in order to not create unnecessary consequences for myself, but I can do so with an awareness, and even an enjoyment of expression, without basing my ‘Who I Am’ upon ‘how I look’.

I commit myself to cut through and stand within the veil society creates around the importance of appearance by not defining myself according to what I believe to be society’s standards, but instead defining myself based on my output- my thoughts, words, and deeds.

I commit myself to slow myself down and prove to myself what self-love and self-acceptance truly are, by stopping giving myself away to the pursuit of ‘looking right’ to obtain an experience of myself, as if there were some audience judging me in every moment.

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